This year in my life can be characterised by one word: endings. So much in my life has come to an end recently. If I go back all the way to January, it’s incredible how much has changed for me in the space of half a year. My job as a Social Media Coordinator ended within two months of starting it. My dabbling within the marketing industry and all hope of making it in a start-up world ended. After approximately 30 sessions, my stint at therapy ended. My days as a mental health Instagram blogger also ended. Most importantly though, and most painfully, my beautiful loving relationship of four and a half years with one of the best people I have ever met ended.
But you know what also ended? The hatred I have been harbouring for myself since I was 15 years old.
I am so incredibly proud of how much I have grown this year and so amazingly grateful for every single thing that has happened to me to get me here. Sure, those days of suicidal thinking and nights of endless crying were hardly fun, but would I do it all again so that I could get to this moment, this moment of finally realising how much I deserve to love myself, to be free to live life exactly how I want? Absolutely.
Because endings really are just new beginnings in disguise. Ending my career in marketing has placed me onto the Heritage path and I absolutely love what I am doing right now – even if it is just a lot of customer service (I mean, I am a chatty person, sue me!). Ending my therapy sessions and deleting my Instagram account was also one of the most empowering things I have ever done. I cannot wait to show the world everything else that matters to me – I will always be a mental health advocate, but I am also a museum geek, a fashion lover, a dramatic writer, a movie binger and so much more!
And as odd as it may sound, the end of my relationship has opened me up to the most important one of my life: my relationship with myself. I am so ready to get to know myself all over again – and I am so unbelievably grateful, moved and full of love for everyone in my life and for all the events that have transpired thus far that have finally led me here: to acceptance.
So, my loves, thank you for all your support with my blog and though perhaps one chapter of how I connect with you on here is ending, know that this is just the beginning of a wild, messy, unpredictable, but hopefully exciting, hilarious and satisfying – a glass half-full – chapter in my life and I cannot wait to share more with you!
Sending you lots of love and support as always.